About us
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What is PornHeli?
To put it simply, PornHeli is an online review platform that looks at what adult-related websites on the Internet today are the best in the business. I explore thousands of sites every year to source the latest and greatest in erotic entertainment. My job is to show you where you should spend your time – it’s as simple as that.
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Who is PornHeli?
I’m a 75 year-old guy that weighs 350 pounds. I live in my folk’s basement and I have a porn addiction. I started this place up because mom said if I don’t start paying $50 weekly in rent, she’s going to stop buying me Doritos and Mountain Dew when she does the big Wal-Mart shop.
Okay, so maybe that’s not true. Who am I really? Just a guy that saw a gap in the market for a place like this: I’ve worked in the adult industry for many years and I figured I’d put my knowledge out there for people to utilize however they see fit.
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Where is PornHeli?
Planet Earth: probably sitting in a chair looking at my computer screen, reviewing porn sites, so you don’t have to!
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How is PornHeli?
Okay, so the ins and outs of this site aren’t exactly complicated: I pick a niche every week and do a little research, I also have a few other projects I work on that equip me with lots of knowledge about great places to find adult-related content. Once I get a list, I start really looking at the places I picked to decide whether or not they’re worth mentioning on PornHeli.
I’ve actually kept track of how many sites I’ve looked at in order to curate the list I have – the spreadsheet is currently up to 9,411: around 10% of those were good enough to make it on the site.
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What’s the #1 porn site?
There’s no answer to this. Honestly: it depends on what your niche is, where you are, what you’re viewing the content on and what you’re hoping to get out of the experience. I think it goes without saying that PornHeli Premium is pretty damn good, but if you’re a man who likes erotic nude photography – well that’s not a good recommendation at all, is it? The correct question to ask is: “what’s the best porn site for X niche” – in which case, go find the category on the homepage to find out!
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Why should I use PornHeli?
I have a reputation to maintain, because if I start making terrible recommendations, people won’t come back to use PornHeli again. Because of this, I’m motivated to ensure that the sites I link to are top quality, have no issues, don’t scam visitors and won’t give you a heap of viruses. If you’ve got a problem with a place I recommend – contact me immediately: chances are it has changed since I wrote my review and if I deem the issue to be big enough, the site will be immediately removed from PornHeli’s review platform.
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How often do you recheck websites?
It’s important to my project that I continually ensure the integrity and security of all sites that I link to. Naturally, this means that I have to constantly visit the links I’ve provided to ensure they’re still up to scratch. Right now, I have around 800+ reviews on PornHeli – I recheck 10-15 sites on a rolling day-to-day basis, so each place gets checked 3-4 times per year. I’m working on tools to assist me in speeding up this process – more on that later!
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Any tips on picking up women?
I’m hoping that one day, I’ll have enough time to go into my philosophy with regard to picking up the ladies. I’m an artist in this discipline – I love women and I’ll never get bored of chasing them! Right now, my only advice is to lose weight, get a haircut and develop confidence, and maybe stop watching porn 24/7. One day, I may have a whole section on PornHeli devoted to getting laid in real life. Porn’s great: but the real thing is something else entirely!
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Can we hang out?
I live in London right now – if you’re a fan of the site and want to catch up for a chat about adult entertainment, drop me an email and I’ll see if I can make some space in my busy schedule to arrange a PornHeli meet-up. Who knows, it may be so popular that I make it into a monthly event!
Please note: I’m currently in a relationship with a woman I love very much. Sorry ladies, but PornHeli will have to stay a fantasy of yours for the time and being. She’s very protective, and I don’t know how to use the oven, so I’d really rather not piss her off.
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How can I contact you?
Simple: Just hit the contact me button and drop me an email
